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Most Awaiting Amended IT Act Comes Into Force

The IT (Amendment) Act 2008 was passed by both the houses of Parliament on December 23, 2008. The Act was notified after the assent of President on February 5, 2009

As we know Information Technology Act was enacted in 2000 with a view to provide legal recognition to e-commerce and e-transactions, to facilitate e-governance and prevent computer-based crimes

However, the rapid increase in the use of internet has led to a spate in crime like child pornography, cyber terrorism, publishing sexually explicit content in electronic form and video voyeurism. So, penal provisions were required to be included in the Information Technology Act, 2000

Since the existence of cyber laws in India, the new improved cyber law regime has become a reality. The Information Technology Act initially came into force on 17th October 2000. Major changes to this law have now come into force.

In this Importance is given more to cyber crimes. The last decade has seen a spurt in crimes like cyber stalking and voyeurism, cyber pornography, email frauds, phishing and crimes through social networking. All these and more are severely dealt with under the new laws.

Highlights :-

• Voyeurism is now specifically covered. Acts like hiding cameras in changing rooms, hotel rooms etc is punishable with jail upto 3 years. This would apply to cases like the infamous Pune spycam incident where a 58-year old man was arrested for installing spy cameras in his house to ‘snoop’ on his young lady tenants.

• Publishing sexually explicit acts in the electronic form is punishable with jail upto 3 years. This would apply to cases like the Delhi MMS scandal where a video of a young couple having sex was spread through cell phones around the country.

• Collecting, browsing, downloading etc of child pornography is punishable with jail upto 5 years for the first conviction. For a subsequent conviction, the jail term can extend to 7 years. A fine of upto Rs 10 lakh can also be levied.

• The punishment for spreading obscene material by email, websites, sms has been reduced from 5 years jail to 3 years jail. This covers acts like sending ‘dirty’ jokes and pictures by email or sms.

• Compensation on cyber crimes like spreading viruses, copying data, unauthorisedaccess,denial of service etc is not restricted to Rs 1 crore anymore. The Adjudicating Officers will have jurisdiction for cases where the claim is upto Rs. 5 crore. Above that the case will need to be filed before the civil courts.

• A special liability has been imposed on call centers, BPOs, banks and others who hold or handle sensitive personal data. If they are negligent in “implementing and maintaining reasonable security practices and procedures”, they will be liable to pay compensation. It may be recalled that India’s first major BPO related scam was the multi crore MphasiS-Citibank funds siphoning case in 2005. Under the new law, in such cases, the BPOs and call centers could also be made liable if they have not implemented proper security measures.

• Refusing to hand over passwords to an authorized official could land a person in prison for upto 7 years.

• Offence of cyber terrorism has been specially included in the law. A cyber terrorist can be punished with life imprisonment.

• Sending threatening emails and sms are punishable with jail upto 3 years.

• Hacking into a Government computer or website, or even trying to do so in punishable with imprisonment upto 10 years.

• Cyber crime cases can now be investigated by Inspector rank police officers. Earlier such offences could not be investigated by an officer below the rank of a deputy superintendent of police.

The following have also come into force on 27 October, 2009:

1. Rules pertaining to section 52 (Salary, Allowances and Other Terms and Conditions of Service of Chairperson and Members),
2. Rules pertaining to section 54 (Procedure for Investigation of Misbehaviour or Incapacity of Chairperson and Members),
3. Rules pertaining to section 69 (Procedure and Safeguards for Interception, Monitoring and Decryption of Information),
4. Rules pertaining to section 69A (Procedure and Safeguards for Blocking for Access of Information by Public),
5. Rules pertaining to section 69B (Procedure and safeguard for Monitoring and Collecting Traffic Data or Information) and
6. Notification under section 70B for appointment of the Indian Computer Emergency Response Team.

For More Info :
http://www.mediafire.com/file/0w2zynahdyw/it6.pdf

The Future of Cyber Crime !

Fighting Cyber Crime is a challenging task. Sometimes it feels like the cyber criminals will always be just one step ahead of us. We have to be constantly developing new tools, new technologies, new procedures, and even new fields of study just to keep up.

Law enforcement agencies and governments are creating cyber crime units to combat the ever-increasing cyber crime-rate. However, since cyber crime is relatively new, there aren’t a lot of experts available to train these units. Many colleges are now offering degrees in new fields like cyber crime and cyber forensics (process of extracting data from devices or systems, usually to examine as evidence of a cyber crime) just to create these experts.

Because the Internet is a global community and cyber criminals can launch coordinated attacks from all over the globe, catching them often requires the collaboration of many people. Governments, law enforcement agencies, companies, and cyberspace experts from many different countries must work together to track them down. This becomes more difficult as cyber crime continues to grow and criminals develop new methods.


What information is required to lodge a complaint?

• If you are a victim of hacking
  
  Bring the following information
  • Server Logs
  • Copy of defaced web page in soft copy as well as hard copy format, if your website is defaced
  • If data is compromised on your server or computer or any other network equipment, soft copy of original data and soft copy of compromised data.
  • Access control mechanism details i.e.- who had what kind of the access to the compromised system
  • List of suspects – if the victim is having any suspicion on anyone.
  • All relvant information leading to the answers to following questions –
    • what ? (what is compromised)
    • who? (who might have compromised system)
    • when?(when the systme was compromised)
    • why?(why the system might have been compromised)
    • where?(where is the impact of attack-identifying the target system from the network)
    • How many?(How many systems have been compromised by the attack)
• If your are a victim of e-mail abuse, vulgur e-mail etc.
  
  Bring the following information-
  
  • Extract the extended headers of offending e-mail (If you do not know how to extract header please refer to section 1 of this FAQ).
  • Bring soft copy as well hard copy of offending e-mail.
  • Please do not delete the offending e-mail from your e-mail box.
  • Please save the copy of offending e-mail on your computers hard drive.

Google with New OS with Chrome

It May Be an attack on Microsoft's Windows Operating System ,Which is installed in over 90% of the world’s personal computers (PCs),
rival

Google has announced its own OS, Google Chrome, to be commercially available from the second half of 2010. Initially, Google Chrome OS will be for netbooks, the low-cost computers optimised for internet surfing and other web applications.

The Chrome OS is expected to work well with many of the company’s popular software applications such as Gmail, Google Calendar and Google Maps. It will be fast and lightweight, enabling users to access the web in a few seconds, Google said. The new OS is based on open-source Linux code, which allows third-party developers to design compatible applications.

Microsoft India declined to comment on the development, while Google India’s spokesperson said that at present the company cannot comment beyond what is on the Google blog, posted by Sundar Pichai, Google’s VP for product management, and Linus Upson, engineering director.

The blog noted, “The operating systems that browsers run on were designed in an era where there was no web. So today, we’re announcing a new project that’s a natural extension of Google Chrome (the browser launched in 2008) — the Google
Chrome Operating System. It’s our attempt to rethink what operating systems should be.”




Microsoft also has claimed that its forthcoming Windows 7 OS, successor to the Windows Vista, has also been built specifically for a web environment.

This is sure to make the OS battle between the two software giants added spice.

According to experts in India who declined to be named, the announcement could bring down the cost of ownership of computers and help increase PC penetration in India, as Microsoft will be forced to reduce prices of its OS. The cost of the OS is about 15% of the cost of the PC. Another industry watcher said that to succeed, the Google Chrome OS should be interoperable with various applications.

Michael Jackson life 1958 - 2009 Life Span

1958 - Born August 29 in Gary, Indiana, the seventh of nine children. His father, a steel mill crane operator and guitarist, managed the Jackson 5.

1962- Four-year old Michael joins brothers Marlon, Tito, Jackie and Jermaine to form the Jackson 5.

1968 - The Jackson 5 signs a contract with Motown Records and the family moves to Los Angeles, California.

1969 - Has first hit single with Jackson 5's I want you back

1972 - Has first solo No. 1 hit, "Ben" - a love song to a movie rat.

1978 - Makes big-screen debut as a scarecrow in "The Wiz."

1979 - "Off the Wall" album propels him to superstar status. Produced by Quincy Jones, it goes to sell more than 7 million copies.

1980 - Wins Grammy for best male R&B vocal performance with "Don't Stop Till You Get Enough"

1982 - Thriller album makes him the 1980's biggest star, eventually sells 26 million copies.

1984 - Injured when spark ignites his hair during the filming of Pepsi ad. "Thriller," nominated for eight Grammy Awards, wins eight of them. The album is certified 20 times platinum.

1985 - Co-writes charity single "We Are the World."

1986 - Stars in the $17 million film "Captain EO," directed by Francis Ford Coppola, produced by George Lucas and played at Disney's World's Epcot Centre.

1987 - Attempts to buy skeleton of the "Elephant Man," John Marrick, according to news reports. His third album, "Bad" album released, goes platinum four times, sells more than 8 million copies.

1988 - Releases autobiography, Moonwalk. Has surgery to put cleft in his chin.

1990 - First reported wearing surgical masks in public. Discontinues practice of distributing Jehovah's Witnesses literature to Los Angeles homes in a fat suit, wig, beard and glasses.

1991 - Releases Dangerous album, certified for 7 million sales.

1993 - In first TV interview in 14 years, tells Oprah Winfrey that changes in his skin complexion stem from a skin disorder, vitiligo. Lawsuit claims seduced and abused a 13- year-old boy.

Nov. 12 , 1993 - Jackson cancels his world concert tour, citing addiction to painkillers and need for treatment.

January 25, 1994 - Settles lawsuit with substantial payment to plaintiff, Los Angeles and Santa Barbara district attorneys decide not to file child-molestation charges.

May 18, 1994 - Marries Lisa Marie Presley, the daugther of Elvis Presley

1995 - Jackson'a much-hyped album "HIStory" falls well short of sales expectations. It drops out of U.S. Top 10 within weeks.

January 18, 1996 - Presley files for divorce after less than two years of marriage.

November 15, 1996 - Jackson marries nurse Debbie Rowe.

February 12, 1997 - Rowe gives birth to son Prince Michael

April 3, 1998 - Rowe gives birth to daugther Paris Michael Katherine

October 8, 1999 - Rowe divorces Jackson, with Jackson getting full custody of the children in the settlement

2001 - Invincible album released, selling 2.1 million copies to date but spawning just two minor hits

November 2002 - Call Sony chairman Tommy Mattola "devilish" and a racist. Executive producer of 9/11 benefit single What More Can I Give revealed to be producer of gay pornography. Third child, Prince Michael II, born, later famously dangled from fourth-floor Berlin hotel balcony.

2003 - Vanity Fair article portrays his financial situation as precarious and accuses him of buying the silence of more potential child-abuse accusers.

November 18, 2003 - The Santa Barbara County Sheriff's Department takes him into custody to face charges of child molestation. He posts $3 million bail and flashes a V-sign before leaving in a black Suburban escorted by three sheriff's motorcycle officers.

2004 - Jackson pleaded not guilty January 16 to child molestation charges, his first court appearance since being charged.

June 13, 2005 - A jury finds Jackson not guilty on all 10 counts.

March 16, 2006 - Jackson's Neverland Ranch is closed down by the state of California.

October 2006 - Jackson settles a lawsuit filed by former wife Debbie Rowe, who said he hadn't paid what was agreed to in divorce settlement. He retains full custody of his children.

March 9, 2009 - Jackson announces that he will be performing at least 10 times in July in London's 02 Arena. "This is the final curtain call," he said.

May 10, 2009 - Some of teh London concerts are postponed "due to the sheer magnitude" of trhe events, according to promoter AEG Live.

June 25, 2009 - Died at the UCLA Medical Center in Los Angeles, California after suffering cardiac arrest. He was found not breathing in his home by paramedics

Sometimes life just gets too serious...too busy...and too complicated. We don't mean for it to happen, but we wake up one morning to discover the fun has slipped away!

A few years ago a health study determined there are 3 main reasons people can't cope in life:
They live in the past;
They have a low self-esteem;
They can't laugh at themselves;

In fact, the study indicated that we need approximately 12 laughs a day to stay healthy!

I heard a story not long ago about a guy who sent flowers to his friend who was opening a new restaurant. When he arrived at the grand opening, he looked for his flowers. Well, when he found them, he saw that he had sent a white wreath that said, "May you rest in peace." He panicked, of course, and called the florist who said, "Bob, I'm not worried about you because as we speak, there's a guy being buried who got a dozen roses that said, "Good luck in your new location!"

Ah yes...life throws us curve balls when we least expect it! And sometimes, just to stay sane, we need to sit back and laugh!

LIVE IN PASSION!

Laughter is God's sunshine that drives winter away from the human face.

Most Of Things Which we desire in Life Are Expensive !

But The Truth Is THat The Things That Really Satisfy Us Are

Absolutely Free !!


"A day without laughter is a day wasted" - Charlie Chaplin-

Strange Tree's

Have A Great Day !!

Respect Love

To My Friends Who Are...MARRIED
Love is not about "it's your fault", but "I'm sorry", not "where are you' but "I'm right here", not "how could you" but "I understand", not "I wish you were", but "I'm thankful you are."

To My Friends Who Are...ENGAGED :
The true measure of compatibility is not the years spent together but how good you are for each other.
To My Friends Who Are...NOT SO SINGLE :
Love isn't about becoming somebody else's "perfect person." It's about finding someone who helps you become the best person you can be.

To My Friends Who Are...HEARTBROKEN
Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut deep as you allow them to go. The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them.

To My Friends Who Are...NAIVE
How to be in love: Fall but don't stumble, be consistent but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand, and get hurt but never keep the pain.

To My Friends Who Are...SEARCHING
True love cannot be found where it does not truly exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does. Love is magic. The more we hide it, the more it shows; the more you suppress it, the more it grows.

To My Friends Who Are...PLAYBOY/GIRL TYPE

Never say I love if you don't care. Never talk about feelings if they aren't there. Never touch a life if you mean to break a heart. Never look in the eye when what you do is lie. The cruelest thing a guy can do to a girl is to let her fall in love when he doesn't intend to catch her fall.

To My Friends Who Are...POSSESSIVE
It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with someone else but it's more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you.

To My Friends Who Are...AFRAID TO CONFESS

Love hurts when you break up with someone. It hurts even more when someone breaks up with you. But love hurts the most when the person you love has no idea how you feel.

To My Friends Who Are...STILL HOLDING ON
A sad thing about life is that when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be and we just have to let go.

To My Friends Who Are...SINGLE
Love is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you just let it fly, it would come to you when you least expect it. Love can make you happy but often times it hurts, but love's only special when you give it to someone who is worth it. So take your time and choose the best!

Written by a person who is still in Love and has not been cheated yet.

Thought For Today

"Leave worries aside and you will be surprised by the beauty of the sky and the colour of flowers, of the freshness of the breeze and the generosity of the sun. You will feel you are part of creation, and life will start to make sense. The greatest wealth is to appreciate what we have and what we are."

16 Rules to Live By

1. Get and stay out of your comfort zone:
I believe that not much happens of any significance when we're in our comfort zone. I hear people say, "But I'm concerned about security." My response to that is simple: "Security is for cadavers."

2. Never give up:
Almost nothing works the first time it's attempted. Just because what you're doing does not seem to be working, doesn't mean it won't work. It just means that it might not work the way you're doing it. If it was easy, everyone would be doing it, and you wouldn't have an opportunity.

3. When you're ready to quit, you're closer than you think:
There's an old Chinese saying that I just love, and I believe it is so true. It goes like this: "The temptation to quit will be greatest just before you are about to succeed."

4. With regard to whatever worries you, not only accept the worst thing that could happen, but make it a point to quantify what the worst thing could be:
Very seldom will the worst consequence be anywhere near as bad as a cloud of "undefined consequences. " My father would tell me early on, when I was struggling and losing my shirt trying to get Parsons Technology going, "Well, Robert, if it doesn't work, they can't eat you."

5. Focus on what you want to have happen:
Remember that old saying, "As you think, so shall you be."

6. Take things a day at a time:
No matter how difficult your situation is, you can get through it if you don't look too far into the future, and focus on the present moment. You can get through anything one day at a time.

7. Always be moving forward. Never stop investing:
Never stop improving. Never stop doing something new. The moment you stop improving your organization, it starts to die. Make it your goal to be better each and every day, in some small way. Remember the Japanese concept of Kaizen. Small daily improvements eventually result in huge advantages.

8. Be quick to decide:
Remember what the Union Civil War general, Tecumseh Sherman said: "A good plan violently executed today is far and away better than a perfect plan tomorrow."

9. Measure everything of significance:
I swear this is true. Anything that is measured and watched, improves.
10. Anything that is not managed will deteriorate:
If you want to uncover problems you don't know about, take a few moments and look closely at the areas you haven't examined for a while. I guarantee you problems will be there.

11. Pay attention to your competitors, but pay more attention to what you're doing:
When you look at your competitors, remember that everything looks perfect at a distance. Even the planet Earth, if you get far enough into space, looks like a peaceful place.

12. Never let anybody push you around:
In our society, with our laws and even playing field, you have just as much right to what you're doing as anyone else, provided that what you're doing is legal.

13. Never expect life to be fair. Life isn't fair:
You make your own breaks. You'll be doing good if the only meaning fair has to you, is something that you pay when you get on a bus (i.e., fare).
14. Solve your own problems:
You'll find that by coming up with your own solutions, you'll develop a competitive edge. Masura Ibuka, the co-founder of SONY, said it best: "You never succeed in technology, business, or anything by following the others." There's also an old Asian saying that I remind myself of frequently. It goes like this: "A wise man keeps his own counsel."

15. Don't take yourself too seriously:
Lighten up. Often, at least half of what we accomplish is due to luck. None of us are in control as much as we like to think we are.

16. There's always a reason to smile. Find it:
After all, you're really lucky just to be alive. Life is short. More and more, I agree with my little brother. He always reminds me: "We're not here for a long time; we're here for a good time."

FAQs - Passport Rules and Regulations

FAQs - Passport Rules and Regulations
Question 1: I got my passport from Delhi. Now I have shifted to Bangalore. Should I change my address in the passport? …. If change is required, what are the documents required and how much time will it take?

Ans. It is up to you to change the address. It is always better if your passport indicates your current address. For this purpose, you need to fill up form-II and submit it along with valid proof of your residential address at Passport Office of the area of where you reside.

Question 2. My Passport has been issued by one Passport Office. Can I apply for services in another Passport Office? Ans. Yes. You can apply for miscellaneous services at Passport Office where you are presently residing.

Question 3. I don’t have ECNR stamp in my Passport. Can I get it on the basis of my provisional matriculation or above certificate issued by the University/Board concerned?

Ans. We are no longer affixing ECNR stamp in passports. In fact it is not even printed in the new passport booklets. Currently, only ECR stamp is being put in passports if applicant is not eligible for ECNR. However, you are entitled to ECNR status if you possess qualification of Matriculation or above. Even you can get ECNR status on the basis of provisional matriculation certificate if the mark sheets of all semesters of your course are available with you.

Question 4. I have downloaded the application form from your website. Can I fill it up & submit? Ans. Yes.

Question 5. I have downloaded the application form for passport from the website. However in the column where specimen signatures of the applicant are required it says put the signatures also on the stickers option, which is not available on the net. What should I do in this case.

Ans. In this case, you need to put your signatures only below column 19 of the application form.

Question 6. Is Identity Certificate mandatory for State/Central Government/PSU employees?

Ans. Yes. Identity Certificate (Annexure-"B" ) issued by the competent authority in prescribed Performa is a must for these employees for getting their passports, without police verification.

Question 7. I am working in ICICI Bank? Am I required to furnish the Identity Certificate?

Ans. Only those persons working in companies, which are owned by the State/Central Governments, need to submit “Identity Certificates”. Employees of Private Banks are not required to submit “Identity Certificates” for getting passports.

Question 8. I got my passport 2 years ago. I got married recently. Should I include my spouse’s name in my passport? If so, what is the procedure?

Ans. It is better to include your spouse’s name in your passport. For this, please file up Form No.II(EAP-II) form and submit it along with marriage certificate, photocopy of spouse’s passport (if she has one) and proof of stay (if the present address is different from the one in the passport). Note : The procedure is the same if one wants to include her husband’s name in the passport.

Question 9. I have a one-month-old baby? Does the baby require a separate passport Or his/her name can be endorsed in one of the parents’ passport?

Ans. Endorsement of child’s name in parents’ passports is not allowed anymore. As per the amended law, minors should have separate passports.

Question 10. In case of a minor child passport, whose father is abroad, whether consent is to be obtained to apply for a passport? If so, what is the procedure?

Ans. Yes. Consent of the spouse, who is abroad, is required for submitting the application. It should be in the form of a Sworn Affidavit duly attested by the Indian Embassy/Consulate abroad.

Question 11. What is the difference between Re-issue and Renewal of a passport?

Ans. Passports are Re-issued after the expiry of their 10-year validity period. If you had been issued a Short Validity Passport (i.e. a passport of validity less than 10 years) apply for renewal to extend the normal validity of the existing passport to 10 years. In the case of Re-issue of passport a normal fee of Rs.1000/- will be charged whereas for extending the validity (renewal) no fee is charged.

Question 12.My passport expired 4 years ago. Can I renew it? What is the procedure for it?

Ans. In such a case, you have to fill up Application Form No. I(EAP-I) form and submit it along with original/photocopy of your expired passport and proof of your residence/address. However, since the passport expired 4 years ago, fresh police verification will be required in your case.

Question 13. I am a student staying away from my parents. Where do I apply for passport and what proof of residence shall I have to furnish?

Ans. For instance, if you are a student staying in Rohtak (which falls under the jurisdiction of RPO, Chandigarh) and your parents are staying in Hissar which also falls under the jurisdiction of RPO Chandigarh , You can apply at RPO, Chandigarh. For this purpose, along with your form you have to provide four Personal Particulars forms. Please also indicate your hostel address/the place where you are staying in Rohtak as present address and your parent’s address as Permanent address. In case you are studying and staying in Bangalore , you can either apply to the Passport Office Bangalore or in the Passport Office in whose jurisdiction your parents’ address (permanent address) is located. e.g Delhi. In the later case , fill up an additional set of Personal particulars form giving the address in Bangalore. For proof of residence at your hostel/place of stay, either you should provide a letter from the Principal/Warden or proof of residence of the guardian with whom you are staying along with the guardianship affidavit. You should also provide proof of your parents address (i.e. permanent address).

Question 14. What is the difference in procedure between applying in person and by Post?

Ans. While you apply in person, two copies of all the documents duly self attested have to be handed over at the counter along with the originals, which will be returned after verification at the counter immediately. While applying by post, you have to submit two copies of all the documents duly attested by a Gazetted Officer bearing his name seal and address of his office.

Question 15. I am a salaried person and Income tax is deducted from salary. What are the documents I need to submit for ECNR status?

Ans. Form 16(a) for the last 3 years along with copies of acknowledgement of your returns.

Question 16. I shifted to Delhi 7 months back from Bangalore. I have to apply for a passport. As per instructions, one should have stayed for atleast one year at a given address. Can I apply for a passport at Passport Office, Delhi? If so, please let me know the procedure.

Ans. Yes. You can apply at Passport Office, Delhi. For this purpose, you have to submit proof of seven months’ stay in Delhi and also mention the previous address in the application form for which you are also required to submit 2 additional Personal Particulars forms along with the application.

Question 17. I have to travel to the UK next week on a company assignment. I don’t have passport. Can I get a new passport under the Tatkal Scheme?

Ans. Yes. You can apply under Tatkal scheme and pay the Tatkal fee of Rs. 1,500/1000 as the case may be, and a Verification Certificate (Annexure-F) or three documents as mentioned under Tatkal Category of Passport Information Booklet along with Standard Affidavit (Annexure-I) .

Question 18. What documents are required when there is a change in name on account of Divorce.

Ans. (i) Divorce deed duly authenticated by Court and (ii) Deed Poll or Sworn Affidavit as per specimen in Annexure –D given in the Passport Information booklet attached to the application.

Question. 19. Is it mandatory to submit Birth Certificate in cases of those who are born on or after 26.01.1989.

Ans. Yes, Birth Certificate issued by Municipal authorities only is acceptable for those born on or after 26.01.1989.

Question 20.In a case of Muslim passport holder, whether entry of second wife name is allowed on passport.

Ans. Yes. But the entry of first wife name will remain intact if divorce is not obtained.

Cool Insulting lines

1. Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!

2. Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?

3. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?

4. I'd like to kick you in the teeth, but why should I improve your looks?

5. At least there's one thing good about your body. It isn't as ugly as your face!


6. Brains aren't everything. In fact, in your case they're nothing

7. Careful now, don't let your brains go to your head!

8. I like you. People say I've no taste, but I like you.

9. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?

10. If I had a face like yours. I'd sue my parents!

11. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent!

12. Don't get insulted, but is your job devoted to spreading ignorance?

13. Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent!

14. Don't you love nature, despite what it did to you?

15. Don't think, it may sprain your brain!

16. Fellows like you don't grow from trees; they swing from them.

17. He has a mechanical mind. Too bad he forgot to wind it up this morning.

18. He has a mind like a steel trap-always closed!

19. You are a man of the world-and you know what sad shape the world is in.

20. He is always lost in thought-it's unfamiliar territory.

21. He is dark and handsome. When it's dark, he's handsome.

22. He is known as a miracle comic. if he's funny, it's a miracle!

23. He is listed in Who's Who as What's That?

24. He is living proof that man can live without a brain!

25. He is so short, when it rains he is always the last one to know.

26. He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.

27. How come you're here? I thought the zoo is closed at night!

28. How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?

29. How much refund do you expect on your head now that it's empty.

30. How would you like to feel the way you look?

31. Hi! I'm a human being! What are you?

32. I can't talk to you right now; tell me, where will you be in the next 10 years?

33. I don't want you to turn the other cheek; it's just as ugly.

34. I don't know who you are, but whatever you are, I'm sure everyone will agree with me.

35. I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works.

36. I could make a monkey out of you, but why should I take all the credit?

37. I can't seem to remember your name, and please don't help me!

38. I don't even like the people you're trying to imitate, if you are at all.

39. I know you were born silly, but why did you have a relapse?

40. I know you're a self-made man. It's nice of you to take the blame!

41. I know you're not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be!

42. I've seen people like you, but I had to pay admission!

43. Why are you so stupid today? Anyway, I think that's very typical of you.

44. Do u practice being this u

PRICELESS WORDS

A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover.
He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees
is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
pressed. He looks around the room and sees that
it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.
"Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping.
Love You!"

Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and
sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious.
Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye
when you stumbled into the door". Confused, the man asks,
"So, why is everything in order and so clean, and
breakfast is on the table waiting for me?
I should expect a big quarrel with her!"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom,
and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off,
you said,

"LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!"

Moral
Self-induced hangover - $ 400.00
Broken crockery - $ 800.00
Breakfast - $ 10.00
Saying the Right Thing While Drunk – "PRICELESS "




There are truly some things that both money and Mastercard can't buy

Tips to Improve Stamina

1. Skipping: Start small. Skip for some time daily - as long as you feel comfortable. Each week try to increase the duration a little.This can have a good effect on increasing your stamina.

2. Running on the Spot: Run on the spot for a set period of time, like 2 minutes to start with. Later as days pass by you can increase it to maybe 5 minutes etc.

3. Swimming: Everybody must be aware of the good effects of swimming. It is a very good exercise. If you make a habit to swim atleast 30 minutes everyday it can do wonders for your stamina.

4. Cycling: This is another very good exercise for increasing stamina vastly. All the above mentioned exercises not only improve our stamina, they come with a wide range of other health benefits too.

5. When working out, keep in mind two things: overload and progression. Overload is necessary to improve stamina, but don't overdo it. If you are getting irritable or depressed, they can be the first signs of fatigue. Progression means to keep on improving.

FLirt SMS

Love is an illusion!
Its a highly dependency disorder
of weak hearted people..
.
.
.
.
People with strong hearts
believe in FLIRTING :p

Flirt SMS

My world starts with U..

My life begone with U..

My heart beats 4 U..

My lips smile 4 U..

My soul walk with U..

My dreams start with U..

My cheeks becom pink 4 U..

Flirt SMS

Sometimes the world give me so many reasons 2 hate it bt whnever dat happns i just stop & think of u & see how can i hate dis world whn u r a part of it.

Love SMS

The first step to love is TRUST.

Trust is the key of love.

Love is da feeling of heart’z.Love is blind.

Truth is da basic of Luv datz wat i feel n think.